


Till the High Water

by geniewithwifi



Series: Hero Quintessence [3]
Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: Episode 4x08, F/M, Legends of Yesterday, post 4x08, speculation fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-03
Updated: 2015-12-03
Packaged: 2018-05-04 16:52:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,086
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5341460
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/geniewithwifi/pseuds/geniewithwifi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Oliver looked at her, really  truly looked at her, and lied to her face.</p>
<p>He told her that is was nothing. That it was inconsequential, not a bother.</p>
<p>It wasn’t nothing.</p>
<p>It was everything.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Till the High Water

**Author's Note:**

> I write my emotions, especially when I am feeling the angst hardcore.
> 
> Contains spoilers for Arrow 4x08 Legends of Yesterday and speculation fo 4x09.

Oliver looked at her, really  truly looked at her, saw in her eyes the honesty and comfort and relaxation and the love shining back at him, and lied to her face.

He told her that it was  _nothing._ That what was bothering him, torturing his mind was inconsequential, not a bother.

It  _wasn’t_   _nothing._

It was everything.

William was his son, a small part of him running around, living, taking chances. William was the son that he thought he had lost ten years ago, the son he was so disappointed he never got to meet. He hadn’t been ready, he knew that then and now, but just the possibility and elated him–despite the fact that he had cheated on his then current girlfriend.

But now. Now things were different. He was different. He had everything he ever wanted sans Damien Darhk. He was making a difference in his city, both in the light and in the dark. He had made up with Diggle, reached out to his sister. He had Felicity and finally had left some of the island behind him. He had stopped blaming himself for Shado’s death, Yao Fei’s death, Slade’s death. He had put the darkness in a corner and there it had stayed.

And it was all because of the magnificent woman in front of him. The most amazing girl he had ever met. He woke up every morning and he had to convince himself that this was real, it wasn’t a dream that would turn badly with a word in his gut, or the wrong words spilling from her mouth. She really was in his arms and they really were together. After everything that they had been through she was finally his.

She had chosen him, and for the life of him he still couldn’t fathom why.

Why him?  What did she see in him? 

Why did she choose the broken man, the one who couldn’t save his city no matter how hard he tried. Why did she choose to care about him, the man who had killed without a thought because that was what he had trained himself to do. Why did she choose him when they were so different?

He was night and she was day and ne’er shall the two meet and yet, for several blissful months they had. He had been happy, truly happy. Something he hadn’t had long before the Gambit went down.

He didn’t want to admit it back then, he was embarrassed to. All the drinking and partying had just been a cover to hide the pain, the insecurities. People wanted him for his money, his fame, his looks, his charisma. Not for him. Not the person deep inside. He hadn’t been happy, and so he drown himself in debauchery.

Now that he had obtained it, he could stare at it and hold it every day, it absolutely terrified him that he could loose it.

That if he told Felicity the truth, the fact that  _he has a son,_ she would leave. He wouldn’t get his happy ending. The words he had told Barry a year ago still echoed in his ears every day.

_Guys like us don’t get the girl._

He had believed it back then, and now,the doubt was creeping back in, haunting every footstep. They had already had hit a rough patch, and it had torn a hole in him when Felicity had issues with their relationship. For two scary seconds, two heartbeats in the silence, he had thought that he had lost her. That their relationship, his happiness was over, and he was back in the hell he had created. Coming out of that stronger together, or so he had thought.  According to Barry, when Felicity found out that he had a son, she had  _left him._ They had fought and she had broken up with him. His head wasn’t in the game because he had lost her, the woman who was everything to him and had so much to loose. _B_ ecause of that, everyone had died. .

_She_  had died. 

And so he lied. He wanted it all. He wanted her  _and_ his son. He wanted to be selfish. He had given so many sacrifices in his life that he felt he deserved this. The city had taken so much from him, it wouldn’t take them. Felicity meant so much to him, so much and William... from the small amount of time he spent with him today he wanted more. He wanted to get to know his son. he had missed out on so much; baseball games and meeting the Flash. School projects and first steps. He had been deprived of this because of his mother’s lies and Samantha’s secrets. 

The universe owed him one. 

He rationalized that it was just one white lie. He would tell her the truth, eventually.

Somewhere deep inside of him, a small rational part reminded him what happened the last time he kept secrets from his loved one. It annoyingly reminded him that lying to Thea about her parentage had driven her away from him to the arms of Malcolm Merlyn himself and the pain of Sara’s death and everything else that accompanied it last year was the result of this lie.

But Oliver shoved it away. He buried in next to her warmth, basking in her presence. She loved him and he loved her, despite the secret keeping.  It killed him to smile and pretend that nothing was wrong. This was Felicity, the woman he loved beyond everything, the woman that brought him back from his own stupidity time and time again. His harbinger of light. But she was better off not knowing. Not yet. He wanted to live in this heaven for just a bit longer. Get the girl for just a bit longer. Be a dad, for just a bit longer.

He would tell her before the high water came.

The universe wasn’t that kind.

A week later, Felicity had found out, furious with him, yelling at him that he would never change and that she had trusted him. But aparently he hadn’t tursted her enough to tell her. When he had tried to explain she had thrown the ring back in his face and stormed off their their limo.

To his horror, the driver had driven her off the pier and into the cold bay below. She had ended up in a coma and it was all his fault.

One little white lie. 

The result? Losing everything 


End file.
